Revelation in the Age of Bigfoot
A Naked Yowie Project Initiative
by Cristie Yager
Date: September 27, 2011
So I said in my previous post that I would clarify what I meant by ‘yowie infested bushland.’
This is yowie infested bushland.
When I was younger my mum and dad liked to go four-wheel driving with family and friends. We loved crashing and bumping around the bush in our old landcruiser. Our dad used to try to scare us and tell us stories about Yowies. I’d ask him thousands of questions about these yowies and he knew everything. When I could think of no more, I’d sit staring out my window as we bashed around the bush, searching so hard to see one.
I have always wanted to see a yowie.
Now yowies live in bushland, any really, the bushier the better.
You’ll never see them --unless you’re very lucky and convince them in soft whispers that you’ll help protect them-- they are very shy and very protective of their homes. This is what their homes look like.
You’ll never find an entrance because just like yowies they’re camouflaged so well. I guess you may actually see a Yowie but you just won’t know it.
They see you though that’s for sure.
Yowies are actually very large. And hairy. Their newborn babies are the size of a 6-year-old! Which if you’re not careful with your children in the bush and leave them unsupervised, they will take young children and raise them as their own bald babies. Which wouldn’t be too bad as they are actually quite lovely.
To look at one they are basically a very tall human, as tall as the biggest trees sometimes, with two legs, two arms. And really hairy. They come in a wide variety of colours all natural browns and greens, so they can blend in easier. Sometimes the really old yowies actually grow moss and lichen in their course long hair to help them blend in easier as they aren’t as quick to hide as the younger ones. They don’t speak like us but their calming voices blend with the natural sounds of the bush.
You may think you’re hearing a kookaburra, but it may actually be a young yowie calling to its mum to warn her that there are some humans in their territory.
When you go into the bush you need to stay together. You need to keep your eyes open, you may catch some movement to the corner of your eye but when you look nothing is there.
Next time take a closer look, things may not be as they appear.
This isn’t an actual yowie, I’m just trying to show you how the blend in so easily. They may be right in front of you and you won’t even know it!
Blends in well doesn’t he?
They may throw rocks, not at you but near you. You’ll hear the whir through the air, then a crash bang when the rock hits the ground and tumbles across the littered bush floor. It can be a little scary, especially if they are close. They don’t want to hurt humans, just get them to move along. We wouldn’t like it if yowies came noisily stomping through our house now would we??
Yowies shed their hair at different times in the year. The only way to describe it would be like the hairy fine bark that falls from certain trees. Which doesn’t actually fall from the tree, it gets caught on the rough branches and twigs as a yowie goes by and falls to the ground. You’ve probably see it a million times.
Now you know what it really is!
Bella has asked me what they eat. They eat yummy fresh fern shoots, and tasty looking plants they are omnivores though so sometimes they may eat birds or eggs too.
Bella also asked where they shower, well in the rivers or creeks of course! Occasionally you may smell something terrible when in the bush, like a dead animal smell. It is usually a grubby young yowie who won’t let its mum bathe it.
Bella loves yowies and sometimes falls back a few metres to talk to them and let them know that she won’t spill their secrets should they reveal themselves to her. She swears that she may have seen one.
Now that you have read this information about yowies you must not tell anyone, you need to keep it to yourself to protect the beautiful peaceful creatures that are yowies. They are everywhere but are so shy and don’t like to many humans in the bush. We also need to work hard to keep our bushes free of litter and look after the bush so that yowies always have a safe and beautiful home to live in.
The bush can be a big and dangerous place and we should always respect the plants and animals that live there, we should always be very careful and stay with our parents. Parents know all about yowies and their secrets. They know how to look after you and protect you. Which is exactly what yowies are trying to do with their babies by hiding from humans. Protect them. They don’t fully understand us and we don’t fully understand them.
The world is a magical place for those who believe it is, everyday things are so much more exciting when your imagination is stretched and pulled and open to new, fun, magical things.
Children are so good at doing it everyday.
Go have an adventure. Go find a yowie!
“Everything I know of Yowies came from my own father who had originally used it to scare my sister and myself. Now that I have kids I wanted them to be enchanted not afraid as I love the bush.”
- Cristie Yager (October 7, 2011)
This is beautiful example of Yowie folklore which inspires a sense of wonder and affinity with the bush while encouraging imagination and creativity in a positive manner.
The Yowie doesn't have to all be about sensationalism and fear...